Why Is It So Hard For Me To Change? The Reasons You Keep Falling Back Into Old Habits and How To Break Free

You promise yourself that this time will be different. 

You’ll wake up earlier. 

You’ll eat healthier. 

You’ll finally break a bad habit. 

But a few days later, you fall back into the same routine. Why is it so hard to change, even if we know that change can be beneficial and improve our lives? 

In this article, we will look at the reasons behind our resistance to change as well as practical strategies to help you embrace change, make progress, and avoid feeling overwhelmed. 

Table of Contents

• Why Is It So Hard To Change?
• 5 Psychological and Biological Factors That Explain Why It Is So Hard To Change
• 6 Tips for Avoiding Overwhelm and Embracing Change
• Dove Recovery: Compassionate, Professional Support You Need To Make Lasting Change

Human nature makes it difficult to make changes in our lives. Our brains are wired to crave comfort and familiarity and view disruption to our established routines as a threat. 

This desire for familiarity causes a fear response in the brain that manifests as: 

• Stress 
• Fear of the unknown 
• High emotional loads
• Exhaustion 
• Discomfort 
• Possible abandonment of goals 
• Loss of the sense of control 

But why is it so hard to accept change? Even when changes are positive, the brain actually makes changes difficult to achieve and maintain. 

The team at Dove Recovery offers professional, compassionate support to help you break through resistance and fear to build new, healthy habits that will create lasting change in your life. 

#1: Your Brain Prefers Efficiency

The brain uses a fair amount of energy as we function throughout the day. When the brain follows habits and routines, it is utilizing neural pathways that are already established. Responses are automatic, and the brain feels safe. 

When new situations arise, the brain consumes more energy, and it perceives change as a threat. 

Learning new behaviors and establishing new habits requires time and energy. New neural pathways have to be established and often require a conscious effort. 

#2: Change Is Perceived as a Threat

The brain is designed to conserve energy. When change occurs, the brain is forced to use more metabolic energy and, therefore, perceives change as a threat. This threat perception triggers the amygdala to activate a threat response. 

As a result, the brain experiences: 

• Distress or discomfort
• Anxiety
• Resistance
• A reduction of resources in the prefrontal cortex 
• Error signals when reality is different than expectations
• Activation of fight, flight, or freeze responses

Even positive changes can trigger these brain responses because the brain always prioritizes the familiar and safe over the unknown. 

#3: You Fear the Unknown

The brain is known to be intolerant of uncertainty. When we don’t know what is coming or lack significant information, our brain prioritizes survival. Lack of knowledge creates fear and impedes your ability to learn.

The brain moves into a hypervigilant state that results in feelings of: 

• Anxiety 
• Helplessness
• Fear 
• Overestimating danger 
• Potential catastrophizing 

It is difficult to overcome these responses to create new habits or experience change because our brain is feeling a lack of control and focuses on avoidance behaviors to reduce the perceived risks. 

#4: You Crave Consistency

It is human instinct to desire predictability. Our brains treat familiar patterns as safe. When the brain recognizes patterns and actions are repeated, neural pathways are strengthened and behaviors become automatic. 

When we experience consistency, we experience benefits such as: 

• Reduced stress 
• A sense of order 
• Reduced decision fatigue 
• Builds reputations 
• Establishes trust in relationships 
• Reduced anxiety
• Conserves mental energy
• Creates stability 

Therefore, because we desire consistency, bad habits can be hard to break. However, when we do make changes or try to establish new habits, consistent daily effort can lead to long-term success. 

#5: You Underestimate the Complexity of Change

As humans, we tend to focus on visible, linear actions because we dislike unpredictability. We don’t focus on the emotional complexities and systemic shifts necessary to achieve change. 

When embarking on change, our brains tend to: 

• Underestimate the time and effort required 
• Avoid anxiety 
• Make us feel vulnerable and resistant 
• Focus mainly on external changes, rather than internal ones 
• Simplify problems to make them seem more manageable 
• Want things to be linear, but change is often chaotic

When we do or experience something new, we often lack a complete understanding of the complexity of everything it involves. This lack of knowledge causes us to misunderstand or underestimate the scope of the change, which can lead to anxiety, stress, or a sense of failure. 

#1: Define and Break Down Your Goal

Goals can feel large and overwhelming, contributing to cognitive overload. To reduce the cognitive load and build momentum, begin by clearly defining what it is you wish to achieve. From there, break down the goal into smaller, manageable steps that will help you achieve your goal. 

For each step, determine how much time you think it will take and ensure that each task is specific, measurable, and achievable to set yourself up for success. 

Breaking the goal down into steps allows you to: 

• Reduce stress and anxiety 
• Focus on immediate tasks 
• Generate small wins to keep you moving forward
• Be less likely to procrastinate 
• Be flexible and adaptable, especially if you face setbacks

#2: Prioritize Your Focus

Prioritizing your focus can help you avoid overwhelm and embrace change. 

Benefits of prioritizing your focus include: 

• Reducing decision fatigue 
• Preventing procrastination
• Spending energy on tasks that yield results
• Reducing cognitive load
• Focusing on what is in your control 
• Building momentum 
• Adjusting routines

Techniques for prioritizing are: 

• Prioritize based on deadlines 
• Prioritize based on impact 
• Prioritize based on dependencies 

Prioritizing allows you to focus on one task or step at a time, gives you opportunities to track your progress, and maintains motivation throughout a tough process. 

#3: Take Negative Thoughts Captive

By identifying unhelpful thoughts, you can challenge them and replace them with the truth. By framing our thoughts more positively and reflecting on what has already gone well, we can: 

• Avoid overwhelm 
• Embrace change 
• Break the cycle of anxiety 
• Reduce stress 
• Replace fear
• Develop a growth mindset 
• Adapt to new situations
• Remain grounded and focus on the present

#4: Use Thought Records and Cognitive Reframing

Thought records allow you to catch your negative thoughts that are responsible for anxiety and overwhelm. By understanding the types of thoughts that trigger feelings of anxiety, you can then question their rationality and reduce their emotional power over you. 

Shifting your perspective helps you develop resilience by focusing on what you can control and allows you to see challenges instead of threats. 

Utilizing this technique can help you maintain momentum and prevent setbacks when working toward your goals.

#5: Decatastrophize

Decatastrophizing is the process of challenging worst-case-scenario thoughts by determining the actual likelihood of those scenarios happening. 

By considering the probability that worst-case-scenarios would truly manifest, you are: 

• Breaking the spiral of panic, fear, and anxiety 
• Reducing the intensity of your emotions
• Promoting a realistic perspective 
• Shifting to a problem-solving mindset 
• Building resilience 
• Lowering fear of failure 

Methods for decatastrophizing may include: 

• Walking through scenarios and planning for them 
• Evaluating evidence that supports or contradicts the scenario
• Documenting your fears and their likelihood of happening
• Considering what you would tell a friend in your situation

#6: Plan for Long-Term Success

Planning for long-term success gives you a path toward success by creating actionable steps and reducing anxiety. 

Planning for the long-term can help you by: 

• Simplifying decision-making 
• Focusing on priorities 
• Reducing anxiety and chaos
• Creating small, daily habits toward your goals 
• Encouraging flexibility 
• Anticipating potential challenges 
• Building a growth mindset 

Are you looking to take the first step toward lasting change in your life? Dove Recovery is ready to walk alongside you in your recovery journey. We offer substance abuse treatment, mental health services, aftercare options, and more for women in the Columbus area. 

Our compassionate and supportive team utilizes personalized, evidence-based practices such as dual diagnosis therapy, psychotherapy sessions, and relapse prevention techniques to support you and your needs as you begin to create meaningful change. 

Contact us today about our comprehensive range of services.

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