Turn Vulnerability Into Strength: Learn How To Ask For Help and Reclaim Your Voice
We live in a society that values individualism and self-reliance. It can be very uncomfortable, even scary, to be vulnerable enough to ask for help when struggling with substance use disorder. There is a myth that substance use disorder is a personal failing and that a strong person can “overcome” it on their own, but that is simply not true.
Healing from substance use disorder requires support, and learning how to ask for help with your substance use struggles is one of the bravest things you can do. If you are struggling with learning to ask for help and don’t know how to move forward, read on to learn more about the best ways to let others assist you on your recovery journey.
Table of Contents
- Why Learning To Ask for Help Is a Powerful Step in Recovery
- Why Do I Struggle With Asking for Help?
- How To Learn To Ask for Help: 7 Transformative Strategies To Help You Find Your Voice
- Reframe Help-Seeking as Strength, Not Weakness
- Empower Your Sobriety by Learning To Ask for Help at Dove Recovery
Many people isolate when struggling with substance use disorder. They may feel shame about their problems, or hope to re-enter relationships when they are “feeling better.” Unfortunately, this self-isolation does more to perpetuate the problem than it does to heal it.
Learning to ask for help is one of the strongest things a person in active addiction can do. By breaking down the wall of shame, a struggling person can receive connection while building accountability and taking the first steps to long-term recovery.
If you or a loved one is suffering from substance use disorder, reach out to Dove Recovery in Columbus, OH. We can help find the perfect recovery programs for you to get your life back on track.
Admitting that you need help seems simple, so why do so many people struggle with it?
Common reasons people struggle with asking for help include:
- Fear of being judged
- Shame at letting the problem go this far
- Latent trauma
- A feeling that they should be able to handle their substance use disorder on their own
Asking for help makes people feel vulnerable, an especially uncomfortable feeling for people who value independence and self-reliance. But humans are social creatures who crave connection, community, and understanding.
Asking for help with addiction is not a weakness; in fact, powering through discomfort to ask for help is one of the strongest things a person can do.
What Is the Psychology Behind Not Asking for Help?
There are many reasons a person struggles to ask for help when they need it. It often goes back to childhood attachment styles, or being raised by a parent who couldn't, or wouldn’t, provide emotional support when needed. Sometimes, refusing to ask for help is a self-protection method.
That’s why it is so important for those people to attend a rehab center that offers therapy, like Dove Recovery in Columbus, OH. Our addiction counselors can help you get to the root cause of your addiction, and give you tools to help you ask for help when you need it in the future.
Learning to ask for help when you need it is a lifelong process, but the outcome is worth the work. We have listed some actionable steps that may empower you to ask for help when you need it.
#1: Start With Small Requests
If you are experiencing anxiety and stress around asking for help, start small.
Make small requests for help from people that you know and trust to get used to the feeling. These requests don’t need to be in relation to recovery at first; you can ask for assistance with a recipe or help cleaning up around the house.
A lot of people fear asking for help because they have bought into the fallacy that it will result in something devastating. If you begin asking for help with small things with no negative outcome, it can help rewire your brain chemistry and make this task less intimidating.
#2: Choose People Who Create Safety and Trust
When learning to ask for help, especially in relation to addiction, it is very important that you carefully choose the person you are asking.
You want to pick someone who feels emotionally safe for you. This is different for every person, but it can be a family member, a peer, or an addiction specialist. Try to choose someone who can actually assist you. Another person suffering from addiction may not be a good choice for this, either because they are too mired in their own problems to effectively help, or because of the “crab mentality,” which is a mindset of pulling others down out of envy or insecurity when they try to succeed.
The best place to seek help for your substance use struggles is a qualified treatment center, like Dove Recovery. We can assist you in the transition from substance use to sobriety and recovery with care, support, and tools to improve your life.
#3: Speak Your Needs With Confidence and Clarity
Being direct with your exact needs reduces the chances of misunderstandings and confusion. For example, “I’ve been having a lot of problems, and I don’t know what to do” may seem clear to you, but it could be confusing to someone who doesn’t know what you are going through.
Instead, try saying something like “I feel my drinking is negatively impacting my life, but I am struggling to stop, and I need your help.”
Being concise about your problems with substance use will likely make you feel more vulnerable, but it will also increase the likelihood of getting the help you need.
#4: Practice Saying the Words Out Loud
One of the most useful steps in learning to effectively ask for help is saying the words out loud. Speaking the words in private gives you the opportunity to practice something difficult in a low-risk setting.
Often, after you have seen the words or rehearsed them in a therapeutic or group setting, you can lessen the fear these words cause and get used to hearing them said out loud.
#5: Redefine Your “I Can Do This Alone” Mindset
One of the most important steps in learning to ask for help is letting go of your individualist attitude. You have to get away from the idea that you can do everything by yourself, as it is no longer serving you. In fact, this attitude can actively hold you back from making progress.
Remember, strength comes from vulnerability and community.
#6: Trust That You Deserve Support
Everyone needs help sometimes. If you are struggling with asking for help with your substance use disorder, it is important to remind yourself that needing help is normal.
Many people suffering from substance use disorder struggle with the belief that they don’t deserve help or that they aren’t worth it due to their past mistakes. The reality is that you deserve support and help to get better.
#7: Celebrate Every Time You Reach Out
Similar to celebrating wins in recovery, no matter how small, you need to celebrate your bravery in reaching out for help.
If you are strong enough to ask for help with your substance use disorder, you deserve to celebrate your success.
Here are just a few examples of how learning to ask for help is a strength, not a weakness:
- Asking for help demonstrates self-awareness and care for yourself and those around you.
- Facing the problem head-on shows radical honesty.
- By asking for help, you are no longer forcing those who love you to watch you struggle and suffer alone.
- Taking control of your life by asking for help is one of the strongest things you can do and builds resistance.
- Asking for help with substance use disorder shows the people around you that you want to be the best version of yourself for them.
Learning to ask for help can be the first step to living a better, sober life.
At Dove Recovery, we see connection and community as one of the core tenets of healing and sobriety. We want our patients to feel supported as they heal from substance use disorder and move forward into sober living. That’s why we offer individual therapy, as well as group therapy, for all our recovery programs.
We also offer continued sober living programs to help our patients thrive in a community that supports them. Contact us to learn more about our programs and how they can help you.